Me and God up at the Bar

returning.

My lover and my soul my peace and my joy,
    returning my evening bliss with solitude and a yearning to lean my head against your chest and feel your breathing of the universe in and of the oceans out. Kiss the stars and hold your hand knowing that you are in command. Once again I can set the sails, open the galley windows, hold fast the rudder and let you take me where you need me to be. Your aroma is the unfolding of a million new buds how I long to fill my nostrils with you. 
     returning to this space with the rising sun, you alone are the holy one, you alone are my peace and joy, you alone are the reason for my being.
   



     My Mother and my Mother-in-law are ill. I cannot have them crying anymore, I cannot take there pain and despair as there bodies pay the toll. I will pay the toll for them. What can I do Lord? It is time that I reveal who I am, it is time that the truth be told, it is time for the evolution, it is time for the world to be balanced again. Take away there illness lord and put it upon me, I will be your son, I will be your one, I will be your savior. I am the miracle so they can have one of there own. 


     returning Lord, returning.

    

Kissed by Angels. My weekend.

Ministered by the Angels in the desert and my cup is filled and overflowing. There halos were so magnificent filling the room with radiance, there hearts were pure and drained any last bit of evil away from my very veins, there patience would last until the mantle crust of the earth itself cooled. These saints carried me onward into the halls of healing and blessed my very soul. They lifted me up and let me kiss the sky, than held me low to let the cool rivers flow through my hair. I could not breath and they breathed there last dying breath into me so I could live. What wonder this is, what beauty could surround me. I will stay out here in the desert. The Angles have gone now, back to there homes. But I will stay here in the desert and wait to meet them again. This is where I belong. This desert I once wondered around while searching for a home has now become the very place I was searching for, and the Angles held open the door.

Dear Father,
     I want to feel the smile on your face . I have been out here quite a while now, searching for you and meaning, and hope in the world that is surrounding me. I want to serve you in every way that I can, I want to honor you in ways you have never seen, I want you to be proud of me at the end of the day. I want to hear your voice, feel you, touch you, talk to you, cry on your shoulder, and than do it all over again. I want to feel the smile on your face with my fingers like I did when I was a child.
   I saw great big cactus' in the sand, the sky fading to pinks blues reds oranges yellows through the dust and heat. I saw an owl on one of the branches. Wisdom. I waited tell it got dark, but it was still light out, the moon was so bright. Than he began to talk to me Filling my head with wisdom. I guessed his birthday and he didn't seem amazed he was good at numbers also, I bet he knew mine too.
    Wisdom was his name.This Owl. We spoke
              W



                                     I 
       S


                                   D                 O                       M

I have royal blood. I am the descendent of Kings and Queens. In the line of Abraham and David. I was conceived by the same force that created the Universe. My teacher and counselor the Lord Jesus is my Brother, our Father is one in the same, our Mothers share the name, there is no difference in us.
     In the desert I met with my tribe. We all wondered in  and found solstice in the sound of each others voice and together we floated through the universe and into each others. Our tribe. Our love. Our place. Our peace. Guided by the Archangel Aurora we dipped our feet in the river of the Garden of Eden and beheld the essence of that which we came. I have royal blood.

Odd man Out

The desert life is a roller coaster of dominoes and you never know what tile your on unless you turn one over and look. Your in a mafia style family and your the minister,. Your at a wedding for the Boss' daughter but you forgot the script and they ran out of the red plastic plates during the rehearsal dinner.

When the show is over they are going to show you the special effects.

Evening Desert

The desert in the evening is a cruel mistress. She acts like she wants me but than she pulls away when  I go to pick her up.

The evening in the desert is always the most depressing. All the hopes of a spectacular day are gone, nothing left to do except  to think about how it could have been better. Its a tragedy really. I know I'm going to exit the desert at night. It makes total sense. Maybe because it is dark, and there is nothing else to do, nothing left to prove. I hate this time of day. In the desert. My eyes are burning and there is a deliciousness to closing the lids over them. I wish I could sleep but I know I would just wind up laying there listening to my heartbeat quicken. Where is God? Is the war over? Is there really any point anymore. And than I start to question myself "Have I really ever been good at anything at all?" "Am I crazy"
"Who else would think like that'
"Maybe the desert would be better off without me"
"I am lonely because nobody really know me"
"I am lonely because I don't want to be known"

The desert in the evening is a cruel mistress. She will act like she wants you but than pull away when you go to pick her up.