Kissed by Angels. My weekend.

Ministered by the Angels in the desert and my cup is filled and overflowing. There halos were so magnificent filling the room with radiance, there hearts were pure and drained any last bit of evil away from my very veins, there patience would last until the mantle crust of the earth itself cooled. These saints carried me onward into the halls of healing and blessed my very soul. They lifted me up and let me kiss the sky, than held me low to let the cool rivers flow through my hair. I could not breath and they breathed there last dying breath into me so I could live. What wonder this is, what beauty could surround me. I will stay out here in the desert. The Angles have gone now, back to there homes. But I will stay here in the desert and wait to meet them again. This is where I belong. This desert I once wondered around while searching for a home has now become the very place I was searching for, and the Angles held open the door.

Dear Father,
     I want to feel the smile on your face . I have been out here quite a while now, searching for you and meaning, and hope in the world that is surrounding me. I want to serve you in every way that I can, I want to honor you in ways you have never seen, I want you to be proud of me at the end of the day. I want to hear your voice, feel you, touch you, talk to you, cry on your shoulder, and than do it all over again. I want to feel the smile on your face with my fingers like I did when I was a child.
   I saw great big cactus' in the sand, the sky fading to pinks blues reds oranges yellows through the dust and heat. I saw an owl on one of the branches. Wisdom. I waited tell it got dark, but it was still light out, the moon was so bright. Than he began to talk to me Filling my head with wisdom. I guessed his birthday and he didn't seem amazed he was good at numbers also, I bet he knew mine too.
    Wisdom was his name.This Owl. We spoke
              W



                                     I 
       S


                                   D                 O                       M

I have royal blood. I am the descendent of Kings and Queens. In the line of Abraham and David. I was conceived by the same force that created the Universe. My teacher and counselor the Lord Jesus is my Brother, our Father is one in the same, our Mothers share the name, there is no difference in us.
     In the desert I met with my tribe. We all wondered in  and found solstice in the sound of each others voice and together we floated through the universe and into each others. Our tribe. Our love. Our place. Our peace. Guided by the Archangel Aurora we dipped our feet in the river of the Garden of Eden and beheld the essence of that which we came. I have royal blood.

Odd man Out

The desert life is a roller coaster of dominoes and you never know what tile your on unless you turn one over and look. Your in a mafia style family and your the minister,. Your at a wedding for the Boss' daughter but you forgot the script and they ran out of the red plastic plates during the rehearsal dinner.

When the show is over they are going to show you the special effects.

Evening Desert

The desert in the evening is a cruel mistress. She acts like she wants me but than she pulls away when  I go to pick her up.

The evening in the desert is always the most depressing. All the hopes of a spectacular day are gone, nothing left to do except  to think about how it could have been better. Its a tragedy really. I know I'm going to exit the desert at night. It makes total sense. Maybe because it is dark, and there is nothing else to do, nothing left to prove. I hate this time of day. In the desert. My eyes are burning and there is a deliciousness to closing the lids over them. I wish I could sleep but I know I would just wind up laying there listening to my heartbeat quicken. Where is God? Is the war over? Is there really any point anymore. And than I start to question myself "Have I really ever been good at anything at all?" "Am I crazy"
"Who else would think like that'
"Maybe the desert would be better off without me"
"I am lonely because nobody really know me"
"I am lonely because I don't want to be known"

The desert in the evening is a cruel mistress. She will act like she wants you but than pull away when you go to pick her up.

God Is my Father.

Its hard to believe. I must believe because here I am. I AM. Forty plus days in the desert. I have walked away from the things that have kept me from being my true self, but I was reminded yesterday how quickly I could go back to those things If I choose too. But what I choose is this desert Oasis where I grow and learn and change and love and accept and remain at peace with the world inside of me, around me, and extended unlimited me. I AM the Universe with no boundaries, the begining and the ending, the alpha and omega, the light and the darkness, for I am Love. Unlimited love. This is my creation, my dream, my hope, my reality. I can touch what I have made, I can hear what cacaphony I choose, I can smell the very vibration, I can sense the unseen, and make the seen invisible. I and my Father are one. Why would we be anything else. I and my Father are one. My Father and I.
Dear Father,
     I used to write to you as if you were far away and this letter would be carried off to you in some distant place like a telegram being carried by some celestial network to your ears. In this desert I have learned that you are me and I am you so the thoughts are immediately you and yours and yours are mine and my. We are truly one, why wouldn't they be. When my fellow humans are singing your praises and exhaultations they are really singing my exhaultations and praises, when they are asking for you to return again and save them, they are asking for me to return again and save them. The story of Jesus is my story and the story of Special Ed is the story of Jesus. My past is your past, your past is my past, your future my future. We are one, why would we be anything less. Me and my Father are one. Thank you I am humbled to be so completely and fully aware of the situation. With this knowledge brought to the forefront of my being guide me and help me be YOU in thought, mind, body and soul as to benefit the Kingdom of Heaven. OUR KINGDOM>
Amen.

Lying naked with the Angels

I lay naked with the Angels curled into a warm ball  of flesh on flesh hearts pounding together and an angel with a didgeridoo circling  above us filling our ears with exotic sounds the vibrations caressing us like waves bouncing back and forth between us the eucalyptus reed expels her song in one long continuous breath filling the space with love, healing and magic.
Later that evening we floated in a warm pool and stared at the planets and the stars.

In the Flow

I have been in the desert now some month and a half or so. A major step for me, a major feat, seeing as normally I cant string together more than a few hours, but yet here I am 5 weeks into the desert. I have no plan of leaving this space until I walk into his face and become his very face, eyes, nose, hair, lips, speech, love, countenance. And now amongst the hot sand, wind, sky, I have become the desert. I am in the flow. The heartbeat of the Universe is my heartbeat, I am in the flow and the flow is in me. The sky and the galaxy are my mind, the stars are my thoughts, the sun is my spirit, all my brother and sisters are a reflection of me. I am the desert, the shrubs, the creatures, the waves of heat, the tumbleweeds, the seaguls, the shore. I am the flow

            Flow...

                                    flow...

 

 

 

                                                                   flow.........

The jewels that adorn me

For so long I wandered naked in the desert, sunburnt, windburnt, chapped lips, fingers sliced by tiny bits of glass. I had even become unrecognizable to myself. I stared back at my own reflection found in a mirage that quickly faded into dry silt. I once had glorious thick tendrils of hair flowing to my shoulders in curls so thick but now they had withered and fallen out leaving just dry thin straw in its place. With one last hope i knelt there and prayed to the one who made me.

Father, master, Lord,
     I have been so foolish to leave your home. That abundant castle where even my smallest desires were immediately attended too by celestial beings. You had even warned me of the folly ahead but like a child I wondered outside the door and followed that old toothless hag until my very knees were bleeding.
      You stood at the door calling my name, "Dear Prince!" You would shout, "My son!!" the angels would help you out. Day after day you returned to the door and shouted, sang, even bellowed my name in different tongues. You never failed. And finally after so long, your pleadings fallen unto the warm desert winds traveled through the canyons, over the dunes, past the sunsets of burnt orange, and drifted in my ear and I heard my Kings voice and tuned away from my madness, finally heading back to the sweetness of honey, the joy of his voice after hearing nothing but my own anguish day after day words cannot describe.
     Once again the ring of your Kingdom adorns my finger. The crown of the prince is squarely on my head, within its encrusted jewels is the most behoden of all shiny bold and strong. Love.
     Now with your grace and kindness I ask humbly, show me my King, what I can do for you today, my heart and soul are yours.

Go back to the Basics
Be the King you were born to be.

    

Dear Lord God my master and teacher,
     The sun has faded behind the sand dunes that rise up in great waves from her belly. The cool autumn air sends the heat away and settles in for the night. All the wonders of the day swirl around my head and settle like leaves falling from a tree. How can I resist you now? Am I really that stubborn? The lover pulls his face away just to return again.

Title Fight

And than the sandy dunes of the arid desert became the streets still wet from rain in what could have been any bedroom community in America , sidewalks, trash, it was nighttime. I found myself running, not fast, not slow, but in a determined pace and I knew that I was running home, I had a destination. I ran past a couple of thugs that were picking on someone else. When they saw me they decided to pursue. My first thought was to make sure the people in the cars could see us so someone could help me, it was easy to understand that I was outnumbered. The three men surrounded me and began swinging and much to my delight my fears were eased as I quickly realized they were drunk or something because they could not swing there arms very well and were missing my face most of the time and even when they did connect they didn't hurt as they were very weak. I grew tired of there games and turned to running home again all the while holding the memories of her arms wrapped around me, her nightgown against my skin, her breasts pressed against my chest, one leg in front of the other I ran towards home until the street began to crumble and become sand.

Master,
     I know there are forces that don't want me to make it home to you, forces that would give there everything to make sure I don't accomplish anything. Armour me teacher with the strength to overcome, strengthen me with your love, empower me with your mercy, so that one day after this journey through the desert I will stand at your door with my halo filling your Parlor.
Amen.

                                                               Be your own master!

     Its been one month in the desert wondering, learning, growing, moving forward. The hot wind was hitting me in the face while and I was squinting my eyes. I was no longer struggling but instead just putting one foot in front of the other, all the while surprised by the wonders being presented along the way like vignettes and mirages from the masters. Than I heard his voice and a great city, a dirty one, busy with many others arose from all around me. People were moving quickly about and settling into theaters where there own life was being played in front of them. Others were working in crews building and repairing new stairs and alleys. I heard his voice again and watched him disappear as he moved away, I felt like he wanted me to follow him but yet again he would disappear. Finally I caught up with him and he said quick heartfelt " I QUIT"
"You Quit?"
"I Quit? "
"What am I to do sir?"
"Be your own Master you can do this
BE YOUR OWN MASTER!"

      He gave me his apron and than quickly disappeared. I checked the pockets and found a diamond ring and a tool for removing the diamonds encrusted in the gold. A handful had already been taken out and I poured them out into my cupped hand. The walls of the dirty city melted away and I was walking in the desert once again one foot before the other.